Some people describe anxiety as a sudden storm, intense, overwhelming, impossible to ignore.
Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD), on the other hand, is often more like a persistent drizzle. Not always dramatic. Not always obvious. But always there.
It’s the mind that rarely switches off. The “what if?” that quietly multiplies. The sense that something isn’t quite right, even when, on paper, everything seems fine.
And perhaps one of the more frustrating aspects of GAD is this: people living with it often know their worries are excessive. They can see it. They can even say it out loud.
And yet… the worry continues.
If only insight alone were enough to quiet the mind. (Therapists everywhere might be out of a job.)
What Is Generalised Anxiety Disorder? A More Human Explanation
Generalised Anxiety Disorder is characterised by persistent, excessive worry about a range of everyday things, health, work, relationships, finances, the future, whether you locked the front door, whether you said the wrong thing three days ago…
It’s not just having worries. It’s having worries that feel difficult to control, that show up uninvited, and that tend to linger far longer than is useful.
But clinical descriptions, while accurate, often miss the lived experience.
Because GAD isn’t just about thinking more. It’s about feeling on edge in your own life.
It’s the body that struggles to relax. The mind that scans for problems. The sense that peace is always slightly out of reach.
“But I’ve Always Been a Worrier…”: When Anxiety Feels Like Personality
One of the reasons GAD can go unnoticed for so long is that it often blends seamlessly into someone’s identity.
“I’ve always been like this.”
“I’m just a bit of a worrier.”
“I like to be prepared.”
And to be fair, there’s often some truth in those statements.
Many people with GAD are thoughtful, conscientious, and good at anticipating potential problems. These are qualities that are often rewarded, in school, in work, in life.
Until they start to cost something.
Because what begins as helpful anticipation can slowly tip into relentless mental rehearsal. Planning becomes over-planning. Care becomes vigilance.
And somewhere along the way, the question shifts from “What might go wrong?” to “What isn’t going wrong yet?”
The Body Keeps the Score (Even When the Mind Is Exhausted)
GAD isn’t just a mental experience. It lives very much in the body.
People often describe:
- Muscle tension (particularly in the shoulders and neck, as if bracing for something)
- Restlessness or feeling “on edge”
- Fatigue (ironically, from all that worrying)
- Difficulty sleeping or staying asleep
- Digestive discomfort
- A general sense of unease that’s hard to pin down
It’s as though the nervous system has become slightly over-attuned, like a smoke alarm that goes off not just for fire, but for toast, steam, and occasionally, enthusiasm.
From a psychodynamic perspective, we might wonder: what is the system trying to stay ready for?
Because anxiety, however uncomfortable, is rarely random.
Worry as a Strategy (Even When It Doesn’t Feel Like One)
Here’s a slightly uncomfortable idea: worry often has a function.
It might not be a helpful function in the long term, but it serves a purpose.
For some, worry creates a sense of control. If I think about every possible outcome, perhaps I won’t be caught off guard.
For others, worry acts as a form of emotional buffering. It keeps deeper, more vulnerable feelings, sadness, anger, fear, at a manageable distance.
It can even feel like a form of protection:
“If I expect the worst, I won’t be disappointed.”
The difficulty, of course, is that the mind doesn’t come with an “off” switch for this process. Once it learns that worry is useful, it tends to apply it… broadly.
Very broadly.
The Endless Loop of “What If?” Thinking
GAD has a particular relationship with uncertainty.
Or perhaps more accurately, an intolerance of it.
The mind becomes skilled at generating possibilities, often unlikely ones, and then treating them as problems to be solved immediately.
- What if I lose my job?
- What if something happens to someone I love?
- What if I made a mistake and it comes back to haunt me?
Each thought invites another. And another.
The problem is, most of these questions don’t have answers, at least not ones that can be resolved in the present moment.
So, the mind keeps searching.
It’s a bit like trying to solve tomorrow’s problems with today’s information. Admirable in theory. Exhausting in practice.
Why Reassurance Rarely “Sticks”
People with GAD often seek reassurance, from friends, partners, or Google (which, as we know, is rarely calming after midnight).
And reassurance can help… briefly.
But it tends not to last.
This is because the underlying mechanism of anxiety remains untouched. The mind quickly finds a new angle, a new doubt, a new “what if?”
It’s not that the person doesn’t believe the reassurance. It’s that the relief it brings is temporary.
From a therapeutic perspective, this is where the work becomes less about answering the worries, and more about understanding the need for certainty beneath them.
A Psychodynamic View: What Might Be Under the Anxiety?
In psychodynamic therapy, we’re often less interested in the surface content of worry (though that matters too), and more curious about what might be driving it.
Because anxiety often has roots.
Sometimes it’s linked to early experiences of unpredictability, environments where things felt inconsistent, or where being “on alert” made sense.
Sometimes it connects to internalised expectations, the sense that one must get things right, avoid mistakes, or anticipate problems before they arise.
And sometimes, anxiety is a way of managing feelings that feel too difficult to access directly.
It’s not uncommon to find that beneath chronic worry sits something quieter, but more profound, a fear of loss, a sense of vulnerability, a question about safety or worth.
These aren’t things the mind necessarily articulates clearly.
But they can be felt.
When Anxiety Becomes a Way of Relating to the World
Over time, GAD can shape how someone experiences life more broadly.
Decisions can feel fraught.
Rest can feel undeserved.
Moments of calm can feel… suspicious.
(There’s often a subtle thought lurking somewhere: “I should probably worry about something.”)
Relationships can also be affected. Anxiety might show up as overthinking conversations, seeking reassurance, or fearing that something has gone wrong, even when there’s no clear evidence.
Again, none of this is intentional.
It’s the nervous system doing what it has learned to do.
Living with GAD: Small Shifts That Can Make a Difference
There’s no quick fix for GAD, but there are ways to begin relating to anxiety differently.
Noticing Without Immediately Solving
One of the more powerful shifts is learning to notice anxious thoughts without immediately trying to resolve them.
This doesn’t mean ignoring them. It means recognising them as thoughts, rather than urgent problems requiring instant action.
Allowing Uncertainty (In Small Doses)
This is perhaps the heart of the work.
Learning to tolerate uncertainty, not eliminate it.
This might look like resisting the urge to check something one more time, or sitting with a question without immediately seeking reassurance.
Listening to the Body
Because anxiety lives in the body, attending to physical states can be helpful.
Gentle movement, rest, breathing, these aren’t solutions, but they can create moments of regulation in a system that often feels on edge.
When to Seek Support for Generalised Anxiety Disorder
If anxiety is beginning to feel like a constant companion, rather than an occasional visitor, it may be worth seeking support.
Particularly if:
- Worry feels difficult to control
- Sleep is regularly disrupted
- Anxiety is affecting relationships or work
- There’s a persistent sense of tension or unease
- Reassurance no longer seems to help
Therapy offers a space to explore anxiety in a different way.
Not just as something to reduce, but as something to understand.
A Final Thought: You Are Not “Just a Worrier”
It’s easy, over time, to reduce oneself to a label.
“I’m just an anxious person.”
“This is just how I am.”
But that can be a slightly limiting story.
Anxiety is something you experience. It’s not all that you are.
And importantly, it’s something that can change, gradually, and with support.
Reaching Out for Support
If any of this feels familiar, if worry has become a little too constant, or life feels more tense than it used to, you don’t have to navigate it alone.
At Serenity of Mind Therapy, I offer psychodynamic therapy both online and in-person at my therapy rooms in Haywards Heath, West Sussex, and Crowborough, East Sussex. Counselling is a space to slow things down, to understand what may be sitting beneath the anxiety, and to begin relating to it in a way that feels more manageable. Not by removing it entirely, but by making it feel less in charge.
Sometimes the first step isn’t solving anything, it’s simply having a conversation where things can start to make a little more sense.
If you’re considering counselling for Generalised Anxiety Disorder, you’re very welcome to contact me here.